Beautiful Example of Polyaffective Bisexual Diversity



In a recent Cosmopolitan story, Zachary Zane explains why he decided to take his boyfriend’s wife on a date. Zane’s charming tale provides a perfect example of how he and his boyfriend’s wife develop a polyaffective relationship that makes all of their relationships stronger. It also provides a look at a real poly relationship beyond the tired trope of one man with two (or more) women and a one penis policy. Instead, this budding triad/vee has a male hot bi babe.


Like many polyaffective relationships, their emotional connection includes snuggling and some sleeping together in a big bed. It appears that both men identify as bisexual and there remains some possibility of sexual interaction for the triad in the future, but for now Zane reports that they are “rock solid” in their polyaffective relationship:


 Since our little rendezvous a month ago, our relationship has been rock solid. And when I say our, I mean all three of us. My relationship with her, my relationship with him, and I’ll go as far to say their relationship without me. She and I have an understanding of one another and don’t feel in direct competition. Instead of approaching our relationship with the mindset of: How can I make sure my needs are met when they’re up against hers, my mindset is now: How can we work together to make sure all of our needs are met? 

Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, PhD, CASA, CSE

One of a handful of global experts on polyamory and the foremost international expert on children in polyamorous families, Dr. Elisabeth Sheff has studied gender and
families of sexual minorities for the last 16 years. Sheff’s television appearances include CNN, and the National Geographic, and she has given more than 20 radio, podcast, print, and television interviews with sources from Radio Slovenia to National Public Radio, the Sunday London Times to the Boston Globe and Newsweek. By emphasizing research methodology and findings in her discussions, Dr. Sheff presents the kind of public intellectualism that encourages audience members to think critically regarding gender, sexualities, and families.

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  1. I believe for myself,after years of trying to figure out why I was a “cuckold” with my wife(married from 1981 til 1989),she began seeing other men with my approval and myself very sexual aroused by it.The One Penis policy could be applied,as soon my wife and I’s sexual relationship turned to her looking at me as somewhat a observer,,in that she no longer wanted my penis in her,only her current lover’s,I soon became alright with that.yet it lead to her leaving me for him( Which is best,as we where very young,naive to even what Polyamory was).I truly believe she thought I was gay,and to this day(28 years later) she maybe does.In this time I have experimented with relationships,,short term relations which women(something was always missing though)..then I got in a long term relationship with a lady,feel in love,,again I was asking her to cuckold me,the difference in this relationship and my ex-wife’s was this new lover(I will call her Stacy) and I where much more open,we talked about sexual fantasy etc.Both my ex and Stacy are very attractive Ladies,so they often got flirted with,(they would tell me often of so and so at work keeps asking me out,.etc.)With Stacy,since we already had dicussed the fact that my ex had “cuckolded” me..She and I talked it over,and she decided she would tell this person at work that she would got out with him(it excited me ,and her).Soon she was seeing her new lover routinely(as often as 3 or 4 times a week) I asked her if she would tell him that I approved,she agreed and did.
    Once the three of us made things much better,however there was not much talked of, between Stacy and I of asking him to have a 3 some(however, she had told him ,that I had sexually been with another man as a “Bottom”), her lover had no interest in meeting me.Any way,for me at the present time ,I believe the only way a Polyamory relationship would work(this is my Ideal scenario),,I have two very good friends,they have never meet(they are aware of each other though)one is a very well educate white Lady,,the other a very well educated black male(whom he and I have a existing sexual relationship,my role is as a 100% fem-bottom,he is str8,yet due to our great friendship..he is a top for me)…we finally all form a “Triad relationship”,,they are you might say the “Alpha male,female” yet I am socially equal in the triad,,yet I never make love to her.I spend great amounts of time being with her ,caring for her etc.,,I do same for him,yet he is my sexual outlet,as he is my “Top” man

    1. I have to say to anyone whom may read this,,I hope due to the fact that at the present time in our culture,be aware of yourself,be educated,understand that 25 years ago,,this website wasn’t here for us to relate to,to study etc.It really is too late in life for myself to realistically seek the type of relationship,I describe above,,that is fine with me,,I have pretty much been celibate for pass 15 years..yet I was lucky as I was not so careful in many of my sexual be careful!

      1. Sounds challenging, I wish you the best in figuring out your situation!

      2. Thank you.also check your email,,I sent you a request

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