My newest blog on Psychology Today examines the role that choice plays in polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy, focusing on consent, self-responsibility, and mutual reliance.
The image is of an abstract white figure leaning down with its hands on its knees and examining a red line on the ground that branches into three arrows going in different directions.
MK, a client who has been coaching with me for a few months, wrote the most lovely client testimonial and gave me permission to post it here:
Dr. Sheff has been an invaluable resource for me as a relationship coach. She has provided valuable insight and information regarding different relationship and communication structures, and reflection, guidance, and perspective, thus helping me gain much needed clarity. She has helped me access ideas for activities, systems and methods I can employ daily to find my own truth and sense of self. She is motivating and uplifting, and extremely easy to connect and share with, especially given her compassion, warmth, and incredible sense of humor. Her support has been invaluable throughout my journey and I give her the highest recommendation for helping people through challenges they may be experiencing.
MK
Curious Fox Presents is bringing me to Brooklyn, NY for two events. The first is Consider This: A Day of Challenging the Status Quo in Sex and Relationships with me, Tikva Wolf, Kitty Chambliss, and a host of other interesting folks collected for an afternoon and evening of enlightening discussions and exciting comedy performance at the House of Yes in Brooklyn on Saturday September 16 beginning at 12:30 and ending at 7 pm. For more information and to get tickets, go to https://www.facebook.com/events/1390479657704116/
The second event is When Your Partner Wants Non-Monogamy and You Don’t, an evening workshop for singles and groups with a mis-match in desire for Consensual Non-Monogamy. This workshop is Tuesday, September 19 and starts at 7 pm, ending by 10 pm. For more information and to get tickets, see https://www.picatic.com/elisheffworkshop
I will be presenting on the Skeptic, Alternative History, and Science tracks at Dragoncon this year, as well as being one of the banner carriers for the Skeptic banner in the parade on Saturday. My presentation schedule is:
Friday 9/1/17, 11:30 pm Crystal Ballroom, Hilton
Title: The Polyamorists Next Door
Description: We can learn a lot about polyamory from a 15-year study of its practice & effects on families. We’ll cover issues like finding partners, coming out, and passing, as well as the advantages and disadvantages of with poly families and the strategies kids and parents use to deal with disadvantages.
Saturday 9/2/17, 10 am, Parade
Saturday 9/2/17, 2:30 pm, Athens Room, Sheraton
Title: SAM Talk
Description: Alternate Relationships in Alternate History, or how we might have different relationships if things had turned out differently.
Monday 9/4/17, 11:30 am, Hilton 204-207
Title: Debunking Legal Myths about Polyamorous Families
Description: Erroneously equated with polygynous or cheating families, polyamorous families often labor under mistaken ideas about their family structure. Empirical data to demonstrate significant differences between polyamorous and polygynous families in how they treat women and children.
Monday 9/4/17, 2:30 pm, Hilton 204-207
Title: Wrap-Up And Feedback
Description: Come and join the Skeptic Track folks for a discussion about the past weekend. What worked, what you liked, and what should we strive to do for 2018?
Brian Reynolds’s new play Mono/Poly is a laugh-out-loud exploration of the shenanigans that ensue when two monogamous couples meet a polyamorous triad. This delightful and rousing play just opened at the Hudson Theater in Los Angeles, and I had the pleasure of seeing it twice and sitting on the panels after each performance.
Having attended many, many plays I am well aware of how painfully bad theater can be, and I must admit that I was a little bit nervous about sitting on the panels after the show. What would I say if it was terrible? To my absolute delight (and a little bit of relief), Mono/Poly was fantastic! Great dialog that was both witty and believable, a completely plausible and yet interesting plot, and incredible actors perfectly cast in their roles made the show an amusing and satisfying experience. I was sad to see it end and could definitely have watched a third act, which is a major statement for my ADHD-short-span-of-attention-for-entertainment self.
This was the first showing, and Reynolds is in talks with other theaters in the LA area who may host another performance of the production in a larger space. Let us all hope that those talks come to fruition with another staging of Mono/Poly sooner than later. If you get the chance to see this wonderful play, jump at it! I can’t wait to see it again — on Broadway.
Filed under BDSM, bisexual, consensual nonmonogamy, dating, diversity, Families, Gender, jealousy, love, marriage, Media, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, relationships, romance, sex, sexuality, Theater, Uncategorized
In my most recent blog on Psychology Today I explore the experiences that polyamorous folks report with prejudice and discrimination.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201707/polyphobia
Filed under Blog, children, consensual nonmonogamy, diversity, Families, human rights, love, marriage, Media, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, Psychology Today, race, Race and Ethnicity, racism, relationships, Research, sex, sexuality, social equality, social justice, Uncategorized, White Privilege
Zoe Weiner at Well and Good interviewed me recently about when open relationships work, and when they don’t.
https://www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/health-pros-cons-of-open-relationship/
Filed under consensual nonmonogamy, dating, diversity, Families, Gender, Health, interview, love, marriage, Media, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, relationships, romance, sex, sex education, sexuality, Uncategorized
Written by Dr. Elisabeth Sheff
Book Description
Marriage and monogamy are not what they used to be, and today many couples are opting to start families before getting married, or deciding not to get married at all. At the same time, gay couples in states that recognize same-sex marriage are getting married in droves. Some people prefer non-monogamy and have relationships that include swinging and polyamory. The landscape of American marriage and relationships is changing, and a variety of family systems are developing and becoming more common.
Dr. Elisabeth Sheff is the author of The Polyamorists Next Door, a blog featured on Psychology Today.
Using empirical information based in academic research, this blog explores the issues facing polyamorous relationships and families. It covers topics as diverse as sexuality to parenting, jealousy to coming out to families of origin, and employment and housing discrimination to online dating.
