Category Archives: sex

Let’s Talk Relationships Interviews Dr. Eli Sheff on Rebel Relationships

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Dr. Kelly and Chelsea at Let’s Talk Relationships interviewed me for their show and labeled it Rebel Relationships. Check out our conversation on different types of consensual non-monogamy, kinds of love, and dealing with the possible complexities of CNM relationships.

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Filed under consensual nonmonogamy, dating, Families, Gender, interview, jealousy, love, marriage, Media, non-monogamy, open relationships, podcast, Polyamory, relationships, Research, romance, sex, sexuality, Uncategorized

Workshop for Non-Monogamy Mismatch with Dr. Eli Sheff and Curious Fox Presents

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When Your Partner Wants Non-Monogamy and You Don’t: A Workshop for People with a (Non)Monogamy Mismatch

 

Get tickets here

What do you do when you love someone and they want something very different from you? That conundrum can be very difficult when it comes to polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy because it can be very difficult to compromise on sexual and emotional exclusivity. In her 20+ years researching polyamorous families, Dr. Eli Sheff has seen many people deal with this sticky issue and faced it in her own life. Now she has designed a workshop with a combination of lecture, discussion, and exercises to help.

Who Should Come:

People who are already in relationships and struggling with a mismatch in desire for Consensual Non-Monogamy – someone wants an open/CNM relationship and someone else does not.

Topics Discussed:

  • Types of Consensual Non-Monogamy
  • Arguments for CNM
  • Arguments against CNM
  • The difficulties of compromising on CNM
  • Mono/Poly or Poly/Mono
  • Considering boundaries: What do you want? What can you tolerate?
  • Meeting of the minds (and other parts)
  • Going separate ways

Take-Aways:

Participants can expect to take away a greater understanding of the options for CNM and increased clarity on their own needs and boundaries.

 

For tickets visit: 

https://www.picatic.com/elisheffworkshop?utm_source=wordpress&utm_campaign=121018&utm_medium=integrations&utm_content=upcoming%20events%20widget

 

 

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New Psychology Today Blog from Dr. Eli Sheff on Choice in Polyamorous Relationships

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My newest blog on Psychology Today examines the role that choice plays in polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy, focusing on consent, self-responsibility, and mutual reliance.

The image is of an abstract white figure leaning down with its hands on its knees and examining a red line on the ground that branches into three arrows going in different directions.

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Filed under Blog, consensual nonmonogamy, dating, diversity, Gender, love, non-monogamy, open relationships, Psychology Today, relationships, sex, Uncategorized

Satisfied Relationship Coaching Client Testimonial

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MK, a client who has been coaching with me for a few months, wrote the most lovely client testimonial and gave me permission to post it here:

 

Dr. Sheff has been an invaluable resource for me as a relationship coach.  She has provided valuable insight and information regarding different relationship and communication structures, and reflection, guidance, and perspective, thus helping me gain much needed clarity.  She has helped me access ideas for activities, systems and methods I can employ daily to find my own truth and sense of self.  She is motivating and uplifting, and extremely easy to connect and share with, especially given her compassion, warmth, and incredible sense of humor.  Her support has been invaluable throughout my journey and I give her the highest recommendation for helping people through challenges they may be experiencing.

MK

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Filed under Client Testimonials, coaching, consensual nonmonogamy, dating, diversity, jealousy, love, marriage, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, relationship consultation, relationships, Research, romance, sex, sex education, sexuality, Uncategorized

Dr. Eli Sheff Presenting at Dragoncon in Atlanta

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I will be presenting on the Skeptic, Alternative History, and Science tracks at Dragoncon this year, as well as being one of the banner carriers for the Skeptic banner in the parade on Saturday. My presentation schedule is:

 

 

Friday 9/1/17, 11:30 pm  Crystal Ballroom, Hilton

Title: The Polyamorists Next Door
Description: We can learn a lot about polyamory from a 15-year study of its practice & effects on families. We’ll cover issues like finding partners, coming out, and passing, as well as the advantages and disadvantages of with poly families and the strategies kids and parents use to deal with disadvantages.

 

Saturday 9/2/17, 10 am, Parade

 

Saturday 9/2/17, 2:30 pm, Athens Room, Sheraton

Title: SAM Talk

Description: Alternate Relationships in Alternate History, or how we might have different relationships if things had turned out differently.

Monday 9/4/17, 11:30 am, Hilton 204-207
Title: Debunking Legal Myths about Polyamorous Families
Description: Erroneously equated with polygynous or cheating families, polyamorous families often labor under mistaken ideas about their family structure. Empirical data to demonstrate significant differences between polyamorous and polygynous families in how they treat women and children.

Monday 9/4/17, 2:30 pm, Hilton 204-207
Title: Wrap-Up And Feedback
Description: Come and join the Skeptic Track folks for a discussion about the past weekend. What worked, what you liked, and what should we strive to do for 2018?

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Bizarro Stories from the Polycule Call for Submissions

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Call for Submissions

 

Bizarro Stories from the Polycule: Adventures in Consensual Non-Monogamy

Edited by Dr. Eli Sheff

Weird shit happens in CNM — weird good and weird bad, weird happy and weird sad. You have stories about it, you know you do. You have talked through them as you decompressed with partners afterwards or told the tale later at a dinner party. Here is a chance to write those stories down and send them to me so I can put them in a new book. Be as out – or not – as you wish; write anonymously, with a pseudonym, initials, or your real name. You can write anything from a haiku about the clerk at the grocery store flirting with your triad, to a story about how you got stuck in that wacky position and had to text your metamour to come and rescue you, or a comic strip about the time your kid accidentally outed you to Great Auntie Florence at your grandfather’s funeral.

Below you can find some ideas of what you might write about – or you might write about something completely different:

  • Dating
  • Relationship Anarchists on the Loose
  • Fun with Chosen Family
  • Coming out
  • Adventures with Family of Origin
  • Sex Escapades
  • Discrimination
  • But What About the Kids?
  • Explaining Us to Strangers
  • Living Together
  • Long Distance Relationships
  • Sharing Partners — the good, the bad, the ugly
  • Dealing with Challenges
  • Aging
  • My How You’ve Changed!
  • Was the Cost Worth It?
  • Social Media
  • Travel
  • Self-concept, Social Identity

Bizarro is the second book in the Stories from the Polycule series. For an example of how this kind of project has turned out in the past, check out my first book in this series, Stories from the Polycule: Real Life in Polyamorous Families that came out with Thorntree Press in 2015.

If you have questions or want to submit something to the book, email Dr. Eli Sheff at drelisheff@gmail.com

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Review of Mono/Poly Play

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Brian Reynolds’s new play Mono/Poly is a laugh-out-loud exploration of the shenanigans that ensue when two monogamous couples meet a polyamorous triad. This delightful and rousing play just opened at the Hudson Theater in Los Angeles, and I had the pleasure of seeing it twice and sitting on the panels after each performance.

 

Having attended many, many plays I am well aware of how painfully bad theater can be, and I must admit that I was a little bit nervous about sitting on the panels after the show. What would I say if it was terrible? To my absolute delight (and a little bit of relief), Mono/Poly was fantastic! Great dialog that was both witty and believable, a completely plausible and yet interesting plot, and incredible actors perfectly cast in their roles made the show an amusing and satisfying experience. I was sad to see it end and could definitely have watched a third act, which is a major statement for my ADHD-short-span-of-attention-for-entertainment self.

 

This was the first showing, and Reynolds is in talks with other theaters in the LA area who may host another performance of the production in a larger space. Let us all hope that those talks come to fruition with another staging of Mono/Poly sooner than later. If you get the chance to see this wonderful play, jump at it! I can’t wait to see it again — on Broadway.

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Filed under BDSM, bisexual, consensual nonmonogamy, dating, diversity, Families, Gender, jealousy, love, marriage, Media, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, relationships, romance, sex, sexuality, Theater, Uncategorized