Bizarro Stories from the Polycule Call for Submissions

images.jpg

Call for Submissions

 

Bizarro Stories from the Polycule: Adventures in Consensual Non-Monogamy

Edited by Dr. Eli Sheff

Weird shit happens in CNM — weird good and weird bad, weird happy and weird sad. You have stories about it, you know you do. You have talked through them as you decompressed with partners afterwards or told the tale later at a dinner party. Here is a chance to write those stories down and send them to me so I can put them in a new book. Be as out – or not – as you wish; write anonymously, with a pseudonym, initials, or your real name. You can write anything from a haiku about the clerk at the grocery store flirting with your triad, to a story about how you got stuck in that wacky position and had to text your metamour to come and rescue you, or a comic strip about the time your kid accidentally outed you to Great Auntie Florence at your grandfather’s funeral.

Below you can find some ideas of what you might write about – or you might write about something completely different:

  • Dating
  • Relationship Anarchists on the Loose
  • Fun with Chosen Family
  • Coming out
  • Adventures with Family of Origin
  • Sex Escapades
  • Discrimination
  • But What About the Kids?
  • Explaining Us to Strangers
  • Living Together
  • Long Distance Relationships
  • Sharing Partners — the good, the bad, the ugly
  • Dealing with Challenges
  • Aging
  • My How You’ve Changed!
  • Was the Cost Worth It?
  • Social Media
  • Travel
  • Self-concept, Social Identity

Bizarro is the second book in the Stories from the Polycule series. For an example of how this kind of project has turned out in the past, check out my first book in this series, Stories from the Polycule: Real Life in Polyamorous Families that came out with Thorntree Press in 2015.

If you have questions or want to submit something to the book, email Dr. Eli Sheff at drelisheff@gmail.com

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized, Polyamory, Books, polycule, sex, sexuality, romance, relationships, consensual nonmonogamy, non-monogamy, open relationships

Participate in Research on Attachment Styles in Polyamorous Relationships?

download.jpg

Wendi/Nicki Line-Robbins is doing her doctoral dissertation on polyamorous relationships and is asking for poly folks to take her survey — please see the information below.

My name is Wendi “Nicki” Line-Robbins, and I am a doctoral student at the International Institute of Clinical Sexology in Miami Shores, Florida. I am conducting my doctoral study on attachment styles and polyamorous relationships. I am hoping to find individuals to promote my study. The study is an anonymous online survey which takes about 20-25 minutes to complete. I am asking if you would consider promoting this study on your website, Facebook page, and/or podcast to help bring awareness and more research for this under served population. My hopes is this research will lead to bigger and more in depth studies for consensual non monogamy and kink cultures. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your consideration and please feel free to contact me at robbinsresearch2017@gmail.com .

 

Leave a comment

Filed under consensual nonmonogamy, love, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, relationships, Research, sexuality, therapy, Uncategorized

Review of Mono/Poly Play

images.png

 

Brian Reynolds’s new play Mono/Poly is a laugh-out-loud exploration of the shenanigans that ensue when two monogamous couples meet a polyamorous triad. This delightful and rousing play just opened at the Hudson Theater in Los Angeles, and I had the pleasure of seeing it twice and sitting on the panels after each performance.

 

Having attended many, many plays I am well aware of how painfully bad theater can be, and I must admit that I was a little bit nervous about sitting on the panels after the show. What would I say if it was terrible? To my absolute delight (and a little bit of relief), Mono/Poly was fantastic! Great dialog that was both witty and believable, a completely plausible and yet interesting plot, and incredible actors perfectly cast in their roles made the show an amusing and satisfying experience. I was sad to see it end and could definitely have watched a third act, which is a major statement for my ADHD-short-span-of-attention-for-entertainment self.

 

This was the first showing, and Reynolds is in talks with other theaters in the LA area who may host another performance of the production in a larger space. Let us all hope that those talks come to fruition with another staging of Mono/Poly sooner than later. If you get the chance to see this wonderful play, jump at it! I can’t wait to see it again — on Broadway.

Leave a comment

Filed under BDSM, bisexual, consensual nonmonogamy, dating, diversity, Families, Gender, jealousy, love, marriage, Media, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, relationships, romance, sex, sexuality, Theater, Uncategorized

Polyphobia, Prejudice, & Discrimination: New Psychology Today Blog from Dr. Eli Sheff

 

3028515993_5d58869330_b.jpg

In my most recent blog on Psychology Today I explore the experiences that polyamorous folks report with prejudice and discrimination.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201707/polyphobia

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Blog, children, consensual nonmonogamy, diversity, Families, human rights, love, marriage, Media, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, Psychology Today, race, Race and Ethnicity, racism, relationships, Research, sex, sexuality, social equality, social justice, Uncategorized, White Privilege

Well & Good Interviews Dr. Eli Sheff on Open Relationship Pros & Cons

download.jpg

Zoe Weiner at Well and Good interviewed me recently about when open relationships work, and when they don’t.

 

 

https://www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/health-pros-cons-of-open-relationship/

 

Leave a comment

Filed under consensual nonmonogamy, dating, diversity, Families, Gender, Health, interview, love, marriage, Media, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, relationships, romance, sex, sex education, sexuality, Uncategorized

Cronica Post Foro: Reflections on Conference in Spain

 

download.png

I just returned to the United States from the first annual Foro Poliamor in Spain, and was completely charmed by it all – the people I met, the places they showed me, and the conference itself.

If you have never been to Spain and could possibly travel there, I strongly suggest that you try to find somehow, someway to get there. It is a lovely, diverse, delightful country with friendly people and incredible places to visit. Going for the Foro is the perfect excuse to explore this incredible country!

 

Catalunya

The Catalunya region of Spain is gorgeous and diverse. A charming mix of ancient and ultra-modern, Barcelona is the transit, tourist, and business capitol of the region. The Foro Poliamor conference met at the delightful Hotel Cardos in the Pyrenees Mountains. Roughly three hours from Barcelona by car, the mountains have lovely trees and burbling brooks in the summer and skiing in the winter. With barely any competing light and clear air, the night sky in the Pyrenees is so dark and clear that you can see the band of the Milky Way standing stark amid the most stars I have ever seen.

 

Hotel Cardos

FORO 01 grounds .jpgHotel Cardos is a charming, quirky, and comfortable hotel with a lovely deck, swimming pool, gardens, and grounds. A collectors’ dream, Hotel Cardos boasts a diverse and fascinating array of objects (especially nativity figures), sculptures, and wall-art gracing each of its six floors. The dining room offers a large and inviting space with a central buffet for breakfast, and long tables where lunch and dinner are served. The staff are delightful, incredibly friendly, and accommodating, and helped to create a relaxed and welcoming atmosphere. Inviting sleeping rooms provided comfortable beds, private bathrooms, and windows with gorgeous mountain views of the fierce late June sun during the day and lovely cooling breezes at night. The grounds of Hotel Cardos are filled with delightful nooks and crannies, from a fountain grotto with elaborate stone designs to a gazebo surrounded by trees and horses in the field next to the pool. Indoor spaces provide a wide range of places to hang out – among them the Piano room for big meetings and social chatting, the Zen room for quite thinking, reading, or meditation, the Botanica space that straddled the sunroom and stone patio, or the underground discotheque complete with lights and sound system.

 

 Foro Poliamor Conference

A three-day fiesta of thoughts and interactions, learning and socializing – what’s not to like? In fact, the entire conference was lovely, from the flexible nature of the programming to the delightful conversations around delicious food. There were two organized tracks – four workshops with me and four workshops with Nico Castellanos. My workshops covered types of CNM and when they work (or not), a brief history of CNM and its place in social change, dealing with jealousy, and children in polyamorous families. Nico Castellanos presented workshops on four-hand massage, BDSM for the curious, conscious touch, and a sensory journey.

A third track was organized by the folks who came to the conference in the moment, with people writing suggestions for what they would like to discuss and others offering expertise in specific topics. I attended one of the open track sessions on ninja training led by the impressive and intrepid Irene and it kicked my ass, even though I was not in time to meet them for the running portion of the workout. Doing the stairs, jumping up and down a bench (except in my case more stepping up and down) and lifting blocks of concrete from a squat or in a lunge was more than enough for me. By the time we got to repeatedly jumping in the pool and lifting ourselves up using upper body strength I decided I might just stay in the pool for a while. Everyone was jovial and encouraging, some joining me in the pool to luxuriate in the delightful water and others continuing their (grueling I must say) workout. That moment was characteristic of the Foro for me – I was free to do as I wished with the delight and support from those around me in a relaxed learning and collaborative environment. Non-ninja-related topics included dancing, defining and establishing consent, working through the emotional pain that can come with polyamorous relationships, and many more.

 

Socializing

There were many fun opportunities for relaxed socializing. Meals at long tables encouraged spontaneous conversations with folks who ended up next to each other, and the swimming pool and patio offered many opportunities to lounge and chat. A costume party Saturday night had everyone cross-dressing and boogieing in the disco and watching the absolutely incredible (I cannot sufficiently express how truly amazing) night sky.

 

Language

While I learned a little bit of Spanish as an exchange student in Guadalajara, it was not even enough to really communicate then and I have forgotten most of it in the intervening years. Even with such limited skills, I was able to communicate easily with people at the conference because many of them spoke at least some English. During my workshops the Foro provided someone to translate between English and Spanish, and they even gave me a personal translator during the group meetings who whispered to me in English. In the rare case that the person I was chatting with could not understand my broken Spanish and could not speak to me in English, there was always someone else nearby who was happy to translate on the fly. Overall, I found the language quite easy to navigate and people happy to help me through stumbles.

 

The next Foro happens in June of 2018. Tickets to Barcelona are not all that expensive, especially if you start looking for deals early. If you start saving today, you might be able to travel to Spain next year for the Foro. In my experience, it was totally worth the time, effort, and expense to get there for the amazing experience.

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under BDSM, children, Conference, consensual nonmonogamy, convention, dating, diversity, Families, Gender, jealousy, love, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, relationships, Research, romance, sex, sex education, sexuality, Uncategorized

Women’s Health Magazine Interviews Dr. Eli Sheff

 

download.jpg

Alexandria Gomez from Women’s Health Magazine interviewed me recently for a piece on polyamory and consensual non-monogamy. You can find the article here.

 

 

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/open-relationships

 

Leave a comment

Filed under dating, diversity, Gender, interview, jealousy, love, marriage, Media, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, relationships, romance, sex, sex education, sexuality, Uncategorized