Children in Polyamorous Families Part 2 on Psychology Today

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The second in my blog series on kids in polyamorous families just went up today — you can find it at https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201704/children-in-polyamorous-families-part-2

 

 

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Filed under Blog, children, consensual nonmonogamy, Families, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, Psychology Today, relationships, Research, Uncategorized

The Polyamorous Black American Anthology — Call for Submissions

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Christopher Smith is collecting original stories written by African Americans who identify as polyamorous. If you are in that category, please consider submitting to his anthology!

 

 

 

While completing my academic article entitled Open to Love: Polyamory and the Black American (which will be published in The Journal of Black Sexuality and Relationships in the winter 2017 edition) I realized that theory, research and the few personal narratives I complied alone are not sufficient to display the eminence of the Black American polyamorous experience. The people themselves need to share their experiences, hearts, minds, and thoughts through essays, poetry, dance, monologues, narratives, biographical stories, text conversations, social media posts, and whatever other avenue comfortable for the individual and/or collective. The people themselves need to be heard…

The Black American Polyamorous Anthology Project is an avenue for self-identifying polyamorous Blacks/African Americans/Black Americans to express; through any form written, audio or video; their experiences. To be clear this project is meant to represent ALL self-identifying polyamorous Blacks/African Americans/Black Americans regardless of socio-economic class, age, sex, sexuality, gender, and polyamorous formation.

There is NO limit to what is expressed, this anthology seeks to show the totality of the Black American polyamorous experiences (the good, bad, happy, sad, celebratory, abusive, rehabilitory, cautionary, progressive, troublesome, sexual, nonsexual, affective, discriminatory, comfortable, uncomfortable, racial taboos etc…) and its intersections with our everyday lives (as pastors, clinicians, hostess, waste disposal professionals, CEO’s, accountants, artists, mothers, fathers, military members, it does not matter). The goal is to show a robust and true view of our lives.

The project has two elements:
1. Written anthology to be digitally released
2. Video/Audio anthology to be digitally released and presented at film festivals

The due date for submissions is July 16th, 2017

For more information about and the directions for participation in this project please email Christopher N Smith at tenabilitymovement@gmail.com expressing your interest.

 

About Christopher N Smith
Christopher N. Smith is researcher focused on consensual non-monogamous relationship trends in current and historical contexts. His prior education includes doctoral studies in Sociology; a Master of Arts in Religious Studies with a concentration in Religion and Society; and a Bachelor of Science in Psychology with a minor in Anthropology form Howard University. He is in pursuit of a Doctorate of Philosophy degree in Higher Education Leadership and Policy Studies with a concentration on Minority Serving Institutions. Mr. Smith has extensive experience publishing, working, teaching, presenting and conducting research studies within the education, sociology, human services and criminal justice sectors. Currently he is a Management Analyst for the District of Columbia & in the United States Air Force Reserves. He is an educator, community builder, father, relationship advocate and passionate about increasing awareness of and support for non-monogamous relationships structures in the United States.

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New Study of Polyamorous Relationships – Ryan Witherspoon

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Ryan Witherspoon, a Clinical Psychology Ph.D. Student at the California School of Professional Psychology, is conducting research on polyamorous relationships. Please consider participating. 

 

 

Participate in a survey about polyamorous relationships!

If you are in a polyamorous or other type of consensually non-monogamous, where all parties involved understand and agree that complete monogamy is not required, then you know how important it is that people understand what these relationships are and how they work.

My name is Ryan Witherspoon and I am a clinical psychology Ph.D. student at the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant International University.  I am conducting a dissertation research project investigating these kinds of relationships.  Specifically, I’m looking at hidden sources of strength and resilience against challenges that polyamory and other types of consensual non-monogamy may feature.

Are you a US resident, over 18, and currently in one or more polyamorous or consensually non-monogamous relationship(s)?  Do you want to help contribute to scientific understanding of these important lifestyles and practices?  Please click the link below to participate in this ground-breaking study!

All responses are anonymous and completely confidential.  The survey will only take about 20 minutes to complete, but your contribution to expanding knowledge and tolerance of these modern relationships will be priceless!

Access the brief survey here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/CNMstudy

Please feel free to contact me with any questions, comments or concerns!

Sincerely Yours,
Ryan G. Witherspoon, MA

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Dating Safety for Heterosexuals: Guest Post from Sam Romero

 Sam Romero, a guest poster, writes on dating safely:

Date Safety 101: How To Keep Yourself Safe On Your First Date With Someone New of a Different Gender 

As exhilarating as a first date can be with an attractive guy or girl, it’s also a time where you should exercise caution and common sense. All too often, common sense flies out the window after someone asks us out. We let our guards down and do things that we may regret later on. Additionally, we put our safety as risk. Remember, our safety is more important than chemistry and fun. Although they seem like a great person, you’re just meeting them for the first time and you still don’t know them that well. So, while you’re getting ready for your first date, keep in mind these following safety tips:

Can You Hear Me Now?

shutterstock_329814443.jpgThings can move pretty fast when you hit it off with someone online. But, you should pump the breaks and give yourself some time before meeting them for a date. One way to get to know them a little better is by talking to them on the phone first. This will help to shape your impression of him. Additionally, it can help to assess whether he’s a total creep or not.

 

Choose a Public Place

Without any doubt or hesitation, the first date should be in a public place. Whether it’s a bar, restaurant, café or club, it doesn’t matter as long as there are plenty of people there. Remember, there is safety in numbers. Additionally, make sure this public place isn’t near where you live or work. Keep that a secret until they’ve earned your trust. Perhaps, choose a place that’s closer to a friend’s home, just in case you need some backup.

 

Tell a Friend

Always let someone know the plans of your first date. Tell your friend, mom or sibling where you’re going and who this person you’re meeting is. In fact, for girls especially, you can take it a step further and allow your trusted allies access to your GPS location at all times through your iPhone. If that doesn’t work, then coordinate a plan with your friend or family member to call or text you at a certain time during your date. This is a great option for letting them know that you’re safe and to use it as an excuse to bail if they’re a creeper.

 

Meet up for a Date, No Rides

As kind or innocent as it may seem, never let the new date pick you up on a first date. It’s not a smart idea to give a stranger your home address or to let them see where you live. This is a trust that’s earned, not granted just because you both swiped right. Take your own car to the first date or catch an Uber.

Also, if you caught an Uber or taxi to the date, make sure you catch one home. Even if the date went well, it’s best to not get in a car with a new person that you’ve only really known for a few hours.

 

Park in a Well-lit Public Place

shutterstock_523240792 2.jpgIf you drove yourself to the date, find parking that’s in a well-lit public spot. Don’t choose some remote, dark spot a few blocks away. In addition to the obvious dangers associated with being a single person, especially a woman, parking in a dark area, there’s also the possibility that your date will want to walk you to your car afterward. If you feel that the date went well, then allowing them to accompany you to your car is an option. A well-lit, public parking spot has the same concept as meeting at a public place for a date. It’s more people and more witnesses.

If they ask to get in the car with you, tell them not at this time. At least wait until the 4th or 5th date before you fog-up the windows.

 

Pay Attention to Manners and Intentions

A good way to gauge a date is by the way they treat other people. Pay attention to how they treat the staff and strangers in addition to how respectful they are to you. If they’re aggressive, touchy or inappropriate then it’s time to cut the date short and head for the nearest exit. A person’s intentions and manners directly reflect what kind of person they are.

 

Common Sense Equals Safety

For the most part, these tips are common sense. It’s that very notion that we stress to you. Put aside how attractive they are for a moment and think about your safety. Remember, they’re still a stranger and you need to exercise some common sense when making plans for a first date with them. Are you ready for your first date?

 

Sam Romero

Sam Romero.jpgSam Romero is an up and coming relationship consultant catering mostly to guys in the USA, Canada, United Kingdom and Australia. He’s on a one-man mission to help other men learn what went wrong in their last relationship, and how to get it right starting from now so that they can get the woman they love back. Sam’s vision is that every guy who comes to his website GetHerBackGuide.com will walk away a more attractive man capable of getting his next relationship right, whether that’s with his ex or with someone new. He seeks to ensure that no man who finds his website ever has to go through relationship heartbreak again.

 

 

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Black People Kink Interviews Dr. Eli Sheff

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Dominus Blue and baby j from Black People Kink recently interviewed me for their new podcast. You can check it out at https://www.blackpeoplekink.com/podcast-2/

 

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Children in Polyamorous Families Pt. 1, Psych Today Blog by Dr. Eli Sheff

 

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My most recent post on Psychology Today is the first in a series on children in polyamorous families and focuses on their age-dependent experiences and three reasons these kids seem to be in such good shape.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201704/children-in-polyamorous-families-part-1

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Satisfied Relationship Coaching Clients

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This trio I coached earlier this week sent such a sweet note afterwards, I got their permission to post it: 

Dear Dr. Eli,

Thanks so much for the chatting with us today. We took so much away from the conversation & feel much more confident about talking with the kids. It’s nice to know we have someone to turn to if & when we have questions or need some advice in the future. Up until today we’ve been a little bit of blind wanderers. So thank you! We can tell you are educated yet real… it was a refreshing combo. If we run into custody issues I will keep you posted. We never imagined ourselves in this lifestyle, but here we are.
Thanks for all you do!
Cheers,
J, T & A
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