Category Archives: sexuality

Accessible Multi-linking & Polyamory Virtual Con Still Accepting Panelist Submissions

 

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Good news for anyone who is interested in polyamory but find Cons inaccessible for a variety of reasons. The Accessible Multi-linking and Polyamory Virtual Con, is taking place November 3 – 5 at an Internet-capable screen near you. AMaP is a fully online con designed to be accessible to people who usually can’t make in-person cons.

 

 

If you want to, consider submitting a workshop or presentation proposal for the con. The theme this year is Silenced Voices, and organizers are inviting all to participate with a special emphasis on diversity and folks who do not traditionally have access to the cultural megaphone.

If you are interested, but not sure how running an online workshop can work, you can see our short example here.ww.polyamoryonpurpose.com

 

 

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SwingTown Publishes Dr. Eli Sheff’s 6 Benefits of Polyamorous Relationships

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The fantastic folks over at SwingTown have published another one of my blogs, this time on six of the benefits people can experience in polyamorous relationships.

Image is of a hand-drawn saying on a piece of paper “because of your love i am free” in colorful pencil outline.

https://swingtowns.com/blog/poly/six-benefits-poly/

 

 

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Filed under Blog, dating, diversity, Families, Gender, love, marriage, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, relationships, romance, sex, sexuality, SwingTown, Uncategorized

Dr. Eli Sheff at Outlantacon May 13 & 14

 

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I will be presenting on the Fandom Culture track at Outlantacon this weekend, so if you are in town come on down to the Atlanta Marriott Century Center to check out the cosplay and panels. On Saturday I present “Which Form of Consensual Non-Monogamy is Right for You?” at 8 pm and “Kinky Sex Makes the World Go Round: An Unabashed Introduction to BDSM” at 10 pm. On Sunday I will play in the Hollywood Squares on the Gaming track, hosted by Candace Weslosky-Miller  and with other panelists Lee Martindale, Pinky Shear, Kiernan Kelly, Moxie Magnus, Kage Alan, Heather Ness, Brent Seth, and Andrea Judy.

http://www.outlantacon.org/

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SwingTown Publishes Dr. Eli Sheff’s Post on 5 Common Problems in Polyamory and How to Avoid Them

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The folks over at SwingTown asked if I would write them a blog about how to deal with common problems that beset polyamorous relationships. This is what we ended up with — enjoy!

https://swingtowns.com/blog/poly/five-problems-polyamorous/

 

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Dr. Eli Sheff Gives AASECT Training May 20 in Atlanta

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Poly Relationship Training 05/20/2017

Therapeutic Issues for Clients in

Polyamorous/Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships

Date/Time:  Saturday, May 20, 2017 at 09:30 am.
Cost: $120.00 (lunch on your own)
Location: 1640 Powers Ferry Rd, Bldg 27, Ste 200, Marietta, GA 30067
6 CE’s by AASECT & LPCA-GA
Please Dr. Elisabeth Sheff and Angelique Burke, LPC, for an educational extravaganza providing therapists and counselors with six CEUs certified by both AASECT and LPCA-GA.

 

The purpose of this workshop is to introduce mental health practitioners to polyamory and the therapeutic issues they can face when serving clients in polyamorous relationships. It begins with defining Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) and contrasting it with cheating/adultery. Then it explores the primary types of Consensual Non-Monogamy practiced in the United States: Open Relationships, Polygamy, Swinging, Polyamory, Monogamish Relationships, and Relationship Anarchy.

This workshop looks at therapeutic issues facing people in CNM relationships, both internal to and external of the relationship. Internal issues vary by person, and often include dealing with jealousy, conflict, and boundary negotiation. Issues that are external to the relationship often include facing stigma, coming out to families of origin, and therapist bias.

In the workshop we will also identify at least three expressions of therapist bias and a discussion of the ethical issues inherent in combatting therapist bias. Practitioners will also obtain tools to recognize and address their biases, and/or provide appropriate referrals.

There will be exploration of the advantages and disadvantages associated with poly families and relationships, which will utilize research from a 20-year study to include an explanation of the ways in which these families affect children.

Register at www.SexTherapistNat.com

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The Polyamorous Black American Anthology — Call for Submissions

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Christopher Smith is collecting original stories written by African Americans who identify as polyamorous. If you are in that category, please consider submitting to his anthology!

 

 

 

While completing my academic article entitled Open to Love: Polyamory and the Black American (which will be published in The Journal of Black Sexuality and Relationships in the winter 2017 edition) I realized that theory, research and the few personal narratives I complied alone are not sufficient to display the eminence of the Black American polyamorous experience. The people themselves need to share their experiences, hearts, minds, and thoughts through essays, poetry, dance, monologues, narratives, biographical stories, text conversations, social media posts, and whatever other avenue comfortable for the individual and/or collective. The people themselves need to be heard…

The Black American Polyamorous Anthology Project is an avenue for self-identifying polyamorous Blacks/African Americans/Black Americans to express; through any form written, audio or video; their experiences. To be clear this project is meant to represent ALL self-identifying polyamorous Blacks/African Americans/Black Americans regardless of socio-economic class, age, sex, sexuality, gender, and polyamorous formation.

There is NO limit to what is expressed, this anthology seeks to show the totality of the Black American polyamorous experiences (the good, bad, happy, sad, celebratory, abusive, rehabilitory, cautionary, progressive, troublesome, sexual, nonsexual, affective, discriminatory, comfortable, uncomfortable, racial taboos etc…) and its intersections with our everyday lives (as pastors, clinicians, hostess, waste disposal professionals, CEO’s, accountants, artists, mothers, fathers, military members, it does not matter). The goal is to show a robust and true view of our lives.

The project has two elements:
1. Written anthology to be digitally released
2. Video/Audio anthology to be digitally released and presented at film festivals

The due date for submissions is July 16th, 2017

For more information about and the directions for participation in this project please email Christopher N Smith at tenabilitymovement@gmail.com expressing your interest.

 

About Christopher N Smith
Christopher N. Smith is researcher focused on consensual non-monogamous relationship trends in current and historical contexts. His prior education includes doctoral studies in Sociology; a Master of Arts in Religious Studies with a concentration in Religion and Society; and a Bachelor of Science in Psychology with a minor in Anthropology form Howard University. He is in pursuit of a Doctorate of Philosophy degree in Higher Education Leadership and Policy Studies with a concentration on Minority Serving Institutions. Mr. Smith has extensive experience publishing, working, teaching, presenting and conducting research studies within the education, sociology, human services and criminal justice sectors. Currently he is a Management Analyst for the District of Columbia & in the United States Air Force Reserves. He is an educator, community builder, father, relationship advocate and passionate about increasing awareness of and support for non-monogamous relationships structures in the United States.

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Dating Safety for Heterosexuals: Guest Post from Sam Romero

 Sam Romero, a guest poster, writes on dating safely:

Date Safety 101: How To Keep Yourself Safe On Your First Date With Someone New of a Different Gender 

As exhilarating as a first date can be with an attractive guy or girl, it’s also a time where you should exercise caution and common sense. All too often, common sense flies out the window after someone asks us out. We let our guards down and do things that we may regret later on. Additionally, we put our safety as risk. Remember, our safety is more important than chemistry and fun. Although they seem like a great person, you’re just meeting them for the first time and you still don’t know them that well. So, while you’re getting ready for your first date, keep in mind these following safety tips:

Can You Hear Me Now?

shutterstock_329814443.jpgThings can move pretty fast when you hit it off with someone online. But, you should pump the breaks and give yourself some time before meeting them for a date. One way to get to know them a little better is by talking to them on the phone first. This will help to shape your impression of him. Additionally, it can help to assess whether he’s a total creep or not.

 

Choose a Public Place

Without any doubt or hesitation, the first date should be in a public place. Whether it’s a bar, restaurant, café or club, it doesn’t matter as long as there are plenty of people there. Remember, there is safety in numbers. Additionally, make sure this public place isn’t near where you live or work. Keep that a secret until they’ve earned your trust. Perhaps, choose a place that’s closer to a friend’s home, just in case you need some backup.

 

Tell a Friend

Always let someone know the plans of your first date. Tell your friend, mom or sibling where you’re going and who this person you’re meeting is. In fact, for girls especially, you can take it a step further and allow your trusted allies access to your GPS location at all times through your iPhone. If that doesn’t work, then coordinate a plan with your friend or family member to call or text you at a certain time during your date. This is a great option for letting them know that you’re safe and to use it as an excuse to bail if they’re a creeper.

 

Meet up for a Date, No Rides

As kind or innocent as it may seem, never let the new date pick you up on a first date. It’s not a smart idea to give a stranger your home address or to let them see where you live. This is a trust that’s earned, not granted just because you both swiped right. Take your own car to the first date or catch an Uber.

Also, if you caught an Uber or taxi to the date, make sure you catch one home. Even if the date went well, it’s best to not get in a car with a new person that you’ve only really known for a few hours.

 

Park in a Well-lit Public Place

shutterstock_523240792 2.jpgIf you drove yourself to the date, find parking that’s in a well-lit public spot. Don’t choose some remote, dark spot a few blocks away. In addition to the obvious dangers associated with being a single person, especially a woman, parking in a dark area, there’s also the possibility that your date will want to walk you to your car afterward. If you feel that the date went well, then allowing them to accompany you to your car is an option. A well-lit, public parking spot has the same concept as meeting at a public place for a date. It’s more people and more witnesses.

If they ask to get in the car with you, tell them not at this time. At least wait until the 4th or 5th date before you fog-up the windows.

 

Pay Attention to Manners and Intentions

A good way to gauge a date is by the way they treat other people. Pay attention to how they treat the staff and strangers in addition to how respectful they are to you. If they’re aggressive, touchy or inappropriate then it’s time to cut the date short and head for the nearest exit. A person’s intentions and manners directly reflect what kind of person they are.

 

Common Sense Equals Safety

For the most part, these tips are common sense. It’s that very notion that we stress to you. Put aside how attractive they are for a moment and think about your safety. Remember, they’re still a stranger and you need to exercise some common sense when making plans for a first date with them. Are you ready for your first date?

 

Sam Romero

Sam Romero.jpgSam Romero is an up and coming relationship consultant catering mostly to guys in the USA, Canada, United Kingdom and Australia. He’s on a one-man mission to help other men learn what went wrong in their last relationship, and how to get it right starting from now so that they can get the woman they love back. Sam’s vision is that every guy who comes to his website GetHerBackGuide.com will walk away a more attractive man capable of getting his next relationship right, whether that’s with his ex or with someone new. He seeks to ensure that no man who finds his website ever has to go through relationship heartbreak again.

 

 

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