Category Archives: racism

Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit Still Accepting Proposals

imgres-1.jpg

Do you have something to say about the intersection of sexual freedom and social justice? If so, then please consider submitting a proposal for a panel or workshop at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit scheduled for Washington DC August 3 – 6, 2017. Proposals are due by Monday February 6. For more information click here

 

http://eepurl.com/cx6Jsv

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Advocacy, BDSM, bisexual, Conference, consensual nonmonogamy, continuing education, dating, diversity, Families, Gender, Health, human rights, jealousy, love, marriage, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, race, Race and Ethnicity, racism, relationships, Research, sex, sex education, sexuality, social equality, social justice, Transgender, Uncategorized, White Privilege

Indiegogo Fundraiser for Compersion Season 2

imgres.png

 

A message from my friend Pepper Mint at Freaksexual:

Have you all heard of Compersion?  It’s a black and poly web series that recently finished up its first season.  You can watch it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rsCdxctICE&list=PL1ejN_rwrAWkDESDh3X6cTrxwSjj_59IR

It’s actually my favorite poly web series so far.  There are certainly painful moments in it, but they are painful to me specifically because they so accurately reflect the transition into polyamory.  And the acting is great, and the cinematography is good.  It’s a winner and great exposure for us.

I’m writing because they’re holding a fundraiser for the second season, and it’s a real one.  No funds means no second season.
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/compersion-let-s-make-season-2-drama/

We’ve seen a number of web series go down due to lack of funding: Family and The Ethical Slut come to mind.  I’d prefer not to have that happen again.

While this series hasn’t seen a lot of exposure in the mainstream poly community, it’s all over the black and poly communities.  I’m in contact with the producer, Jackie Stone, and she also has a close relationship with Ron Young, as you can see in the videos.  She’s getting input from poly folks and looking to do a really positive piece for the community.

I’ve just contributed.  If y’all can either give money or spread this around, you’re helping with a poly media win, and really helping out black and poly people.  Please and thank you!

Leave a comment

Filed under bisexual, dating, diversity, love, non-monogamy, Polyamory, race, Race and Ethnicity, racism, relationships, sex, Uncategorized

Dr. Eli Sheff Trains Fulton County CASAs on Sex & Gender Minority Families 9/20/16

September In-Service.JPG

Leave a comment

September 13, 2016 · 11:42 pm09

Five Things White People Can Do to Make Their Poly Communities More Welcoming for People of Color

imgres.jpg

I just finished listening to a fantastic podcast from Poly in the Cities with Kevin Patterson from Poly Role Models. Turns out white folks in the poly community routinely try to tell Kevin Patterson about his experience as a Black person: When Kevin names race in conversations with some poly folks and event or group organizers, it all too often turns in to an adversarial interaction instead of a collaborative discussion.

White people in poly communities and elsewhere, please listen to a sister white woman who is flawed and still invested in equality: We are not doing well enough at addressing race in US society. From education to health care to (in)justice, the poly community is not the only place we see evidence of white people failing to deal with race in any realistic or direct way. When the liberal white people are too afraid to talk about race, the only white people who will speak of it out loud are the white supremacists, which makes racism seem all the more fringe. In truth, racism is everywhere, deeply embedded in the social structures and institutions of the US.

How can you avoid being one of those white people who argue as if they know POC’s experience better than the POC do? How can you be an ally instead of part of the problem? Try these five not so simple steps, and keep practicing becuse it can be challenging. You may not be perfect at first, and that is OK. Keep trying!

  1. Set your defensiveness aside — Discussion of race and white privilege do not have to be about white people and our egos. Evidence that you are becoming defensive includes a desire to rebut what your conversation partner so strong that it distracts you from hearing what they are saying. If you are searching for flaws in your opponent’s argument, it means that you are not collaborating with your conversation partner if they are your opponent, and you are not truly open to what they are saying because you are not listening. You can be an ally even if you have been an “inactive beneficiary”* of the white privilege surrounding you as long as you can set aside your need to “win the conversation.”*
  2. Listen — This means more than just keeping your own mouth shut. This means really listening to and thinking about what the other person is saying, rather than formulating your rebuttal. If you are not sure what to say or how to say it, listen for a while and clarify your thoughts. If you are tempted to interrupt — especially to correct or disagree with your conversation partner’s explanation of their own experience or areas of expertise — take a deep breath and keep your mouth closed. This can be difficult for white folks who have always been very verbal and used to people listening to them.
  3. Educate Yourself — Do not expect people of color to educate you about racism — that is exhausting for them and inappropriate for you. There are books, websites, podcasts,  and You Tube presentations on white privilege (be aware of the white power folks on You Tube who also engage with the term, they are coming from a very different philosophical orientation than this blog). Plus, Google exists. Take some self-responsibility for your education and start expanding your envelop. Tim Wise is a great place to start. If you are in Atlanta, come to the Sex Down South Conference and see my presentation on Thursday October 13, How White People Can Be Allies to POC in AltSex Communities. You can also check out my blogs on using the term white privilege and some of the benefits of being uncomfortable about race .
  4. Acknowledge White Privilege — Out loud, every time you can, with your family, friends, grocers, neighbors, and strangers on the street. To successfully acknowledge the (very blatant, once you start looking for it) evidence of white privilege in your social environment, you have to recognize it yourself. Educating yourself on white privilege helps you to recognize it as well.
  5. Lean to Tolerate Racial Discomfort — Race is uncomfortable in the US, and white people have been able to shift that discomfort on to people of color for far too long. It is going to be profoundly uncomfortable for white people to talk about race — and that is OK, we should still do it with open hearts and open minds. People of color have been beyond uncomfortable with the effects of racism, and is past time for white people to share that load of social discomfort and change. Take a deep breath and use your relationship skills to work on your relationship with race.

 

  • Quotes from Kevin Patterson on the Poly in the Cities podcast

images.jpg

2 Comments

Filed under consensual nonmonogamy, diversity, non-monogamy, open relationships, podcast, Polyamory, race, Race and Ethnicity, racism, relationships, romance, sex, sex education, sexuality, social equality, Uncategorized, White Privilege

Getting Ready for Sex Down South, One More Week of Discount Registration

imgres.jpg

I am thrilled to be presenting at Sex Down South again this year, and wanted to encourage you all to get your early bird tickets while they are still cheap! You can register here at http://sexdownsouth.com/registration/

Leave a comment

Filed under consensual nonmonogamy, dating, diversity, Families, Gender, race, Race and Ethnicity, racism, romance, sex, sex education, Uncategorized, White Privilege

Dr. Sheff Gives Keynote at Atlanta Poly Weekend THIS WEEKEND

images.jpg

If you have not gotten your tickets yet, there is still time to register for Atlanta Poly Weekend. Among the many, many fabulous presentations I will be giving the opening keynote address Friday at 5pm. On Saturday I moderate a kids’ panel from 10:30 to noon, and then host a presentation and discussion about how white people can use white privilege against itself as allies for people of color. Come on out, I hope to see you there!

 

Attendee Registration

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Conference, consensual nonmonogamy, Families, Gender, open relationships, Polyamory, Race and Ethnicity, racism, relationships, sex, sex education, social equality, Uncategorized, White Privilege

APW 2016 Schedule

I am really excited about the awesome lineup for Atlanta Poly Weekend coming up June 3-5. The lineup is chock full of serious things like talking to kids about sex (with the beyond fabulous Marla Renee Stewart) and demystifying asexuality (with the most excellent Melissa Avery-Weir) to fun stuff like Kinky Science (with the incredible Rachel Anne Kieran) and using dance to foster better communication (with the dynamic duo of Joreth Innkeeper and Sterling).

I will be providing the opening keynote address on resilience in poly families on Friday evening at 5pm, hosting a panel with children from poly families on Saturday at 10:30, and presenting on how to use white privilege against itself and become an ally to people of color at 8pm on Saturday. I hope to see you there — it is a great time with fun and interesting people!

Source: APW 2016 Schedule

Leave a comment

Filed under Conference, consensual nonmonogamy, dating, diversity, Families, love, Polyamory, Race and Ethnicity, racism, sex, Uncategorized, White Privilege