Can I Have Sex? Intimacy During the Coronavirus Outbreak

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A guest blog from Sam at SwingTowns :

In a pandemic such as the one we are currently facing with COVID-19, we all have to make difficult decisions. While those decisions might not seem life-or-death, they absolutely are. Social distancing is proven to save countless lives, and with millions of innocent people at stake (seniors, children, and those that are immunocompromised), practicing it is more important now than ever. 

Social distancing might seem like a simple enough task, but depending on who you are, you might be worried about the negative impact it will have on intimacy. It’s one thing to not be able to see a partner who lives in another neighborhood or city, but what about someone you live with? Does the six-foot rule apply to them too? 

The simple answer is: it depends.

While no one should be Googling swingers club near me and going to hook up with strangers, there is some danger that comes even from physical intimacy with a live-in partner that is important to note. Recent studies show that COVID-19 can be transmitted via an infected person’s saliva or mucus. This means you could become infected — or infect someone else — with a simple kiss. “But I’m not sick, and neither is my partner,” you might say. Unfortunately, unless you’ve been tested for the virus, you can’t know that. Many carriers are asymptomatic, meaning they don’t show any symptoms and are still able to infect others.

You’re probably thinking of some loopholes here, but don’t start searching for swingers near me just yet. You probably already know that the coronavirus is not spread from saliva alone, but also coughing, sneezing, and anything else that involves spewing out respiratory droplets. This means that if your partner is showing symptoms, eliminating kissing or oral from your play-time won’t necessarily save you from the virus. It’s also important to note that while COVID-19 isn’t thought to be transmitted via semen or vaginal fluid, it can be found in carrier feces (so anal play is out of the picture too). 

At the end of the day, sex with a partner — whether they live with you or not — does pose a risk if you haven’t both tested negative for the coronavirus. Still, the weeks, months, or however long it takes to flatten the curve can seem like an unbearably long time to go without touching your partner. We are social creatures who crave physical attention, and it’s important to meet those needs as best as you can in your unique situation. Sex where there is no risk of the virus being spread (i.e. when you have been tested negative and / or you continue to practice social distancing in other areas of your life) should be perfectly fine. 

Of course, the safest sex of all will always be with yourself. Video or phone calling your partner, or finding people to “date” online, can make this experience feel more intimate even when there is no physical touching involved. You should continue to prioritize other areas of your social life by virtually keeping in touch with friends and family and staying occupied when you find yourself in isolation.

Image: five people laughing and drinking, words Open Minded and Poly, Swing, Kink, Open

Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, PhD, CASA, CSE

One of a handful of global experts on polyamory and the foremost international expert on children in polyamorous families, Dr. Elisabeth Sheff has studied gender and
families of sexual minorities for the last 16 years. Sheff’s television appearances include CNN, and the National Geographic, and she has given more than 20 radio, podcast, print, and television interviews with sources from Radio Slovenia to National Public Radio, the Sunday London Times to the Boston Globe and Newsweek. By emphasizing research methodology and findings in her discussions, Dr. Sheff presents the kind of public intellectualism that encourages audience members to think critically regarding gender, sexualities, and families.

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