Help Music School Survive Discrimination Against Polyamorous Owners

The message below comes from my trusted colleague Dave Doleshal:


Sue Heale is currently embroiled in a nasty legal battle because of her involvement in a polyamorous relationship, and she is urgently seeking donations to help cover her mounting legal costs and to save her music school.
Sue built up a very successful music school, but after some of the employees who worked there discovered that she was living a polyamorous lifestyle, they sought to use her involvement in polyamory as an excuse to violate their employment contracts, destroy her school, and take her students into their own private practices. The case has drug on for three years. Sue has already prevailed in one phase of the battle, having won a child custody court case in which an ex-husband attempted to take away her children – specifically because she was involved in polyamory. However, after carefully weighing the evidence, and listening to both sides of the story, the judge decided that involvement in polyamory per se in not sufficient grounds for denying custody of children. The judge ruled in favor of Sue, and she was allowed to keep her children. It looks like Sue has a good chance of winning thus second phase of the case – if she can raise sufficient funds to pay for her ever-rising legal bills.
Sue Heale was a featured speaker in the Polyamorous Activism Conclave held in Berkeley, California, last February. She will be featured speaker at this event again this year (Feb 12, 2017):
This Polyamorous Political Conclave is held each year in connection with the International Conference on the Future of Monogamy and Nonmonogamy. Sue will also be a featured speaking at this year’s conference:
Sue is a respected member of the polyamory community. I personally know Sue and her partner Josh, and I have followed this case for nearly a year. Sue and Josh are very good people, and they deserve as much support from the polyamory community as we can possibly give them.
The most recent round of the legal struggle went badly. However, the struggle continues, and it is still possible that Sue can ultimately save her music school from destruction, but it will take money to accomplish that. If we lose this battle, that will be reinforcing the status quo which presumes that if a person is polyamorous, that justifies them being discriminated against, abused, and being denied basic protections under the law.
However, if we WIN this battle, this will be a small (but valuable) step towards establishing the principle that even polyamorous people are entitled to decent treatment and equal protection under the law.
Please check out the written description and brief video presentation about the case, and PLEASE donate generously
Dave Doleshal, Ph.D

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Review of Counsel of the Wicked


images.jpgThis fall I had the great fortune to visit with the publishers at Fantastic Fiction Publishing. When I mentioned to the primary editor that I had just finished the book I had been reading and was looking for something new to read, she recommended Elizabeth Schechter’s Counsel of the Wicked . “I don’t like erotica” I said, thinking back on the sappy romance novels I had started occasionally and always left unfinished.  “Trust me, you’ll like this one” she said. Knowing her to be a woman of integrity and good taste, I took her at her word and purchased a copy.


Turns out, it’s not that I don’t like erotica, it’s that I don’t like badly written drivel with thin plot lines padded by pages of awkward sex. Even the sex scenes in Laurel Hamilton’s Anita Blake vampire hunter series left me cold, and I quickly found myself skimming over the sex scenes that seemed initially steamy and quickly became repetitive (and used the word spill far too often) to get back to the much more interesting vampire hunting and shape shifting.


Far from needing to blur past self-conscious or redundant sex scenes, Schechter’s gem is so well written that the sex scenes are not only interesting to read, but integral to the plot. Mercifully devoid of the kind of florid Harlequin romance language that hobbles so many other erotic novels, Counsel of the Wicked has complex and well-developed characters who do all sorts of interesting things, one of which happens to be interesting sex as well. Each sex scene flows perfectly with the twists of the plot, always fitting in quite realistically with the characters’ other actions. One of the main characters appears to be asexual, a true novelty for romance novels.


Luckily for me and other readers of smart and sexy fiction, this is just book one in the Rebel Mage series. I look forward to reading the second book in the series, Haven’s Fall, to find out what happens to the band of intrepid travelers.

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Indiegogo Fundraiser for Compersion Season 2



A message from my friend Pepper Mint at Freaksexual:

Have you all heard of Compersion?  It’s a black and poly web series that recently finished up its first season.  You can watch it here:

It’s actually my favorite poly web series so far.  There are certainly painful moments in it, but they are painful to me specifically because they so accurately reflect the transition into polyamory.  And the acting is great, and the cinematography is good.  It’s a winner and great exposure for us.

I’m writing because they’re holding a fundraiser for the second season, and it’s a real one.  No funds means no second season.

We’ve seen a number of web series go down due to lack of funding: Family and The Ethical Slut come to mind.  I’d prefer not to have that happen again.

While this series hasn’t seen a lot of exposure in the mainstream poly community, it’s all over the black and poly communities.  I’m in contact with the producer, Jackie Stone, and she also has a close relationship with Ron Young, as you can see in the videos.  She’s getting input from poly folks and looking to do a really positive piece for the community.

I’ve just contributed.  If y’all can either give money or spread this around, you’re helping with a poly media win, and really helping out black and poly people.  Please and thank you!

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Filed under bisexual, dating, diversity, love, non-monogamy, Polyamory, race, Race and Ethnicity, racism, relationships, sex, Uncategorized

Not Trusting the Happy, Dr. Eli Sheff’s New Blog on Psychology Today



My new blog on Psychology Today explores the reasons people might have a difficult time relaxing in to a happy polyamorous situation.


Filed under love, marriage, non-monogamy, open relationships, Polyamory, Psychology Today, relationships, sex, Uncategorized

Last Chance to see Dr. Eli Sheff in California – December 3 Pure Pleasure Downtown Santa Cruz



See Polyamory Naughty & Nice — Dr. Eli Sheff’s final California presentation in her Fall 2016 book tour at Pure Pleasure in Santa Cruz. Tickets at


Session 1 is $15 in advance, $20 at the door

Session 2 is $20 in advance, $25 at the door

Both sessions $30 in advance


SAT, DEC 3- Polyamory – Naughty and Nice

 Session 1, 3:00 – 5:00pm

$15 advance/$20 walk-in

Which Version of Consensual Non-Monogamy is Right For You?

Are you interested in exploring Polyamory or just want to understand more about it? Then this class is for you. First defining Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) and contrasting it with cheating/adultery, Eli then explains types of Consensual Non-Monogamy: Open Relationships, Polygamy, Swinging, Polyamory, Monogamish Relationships, and Relationship Anarchy, who tends to select each lovestyle, what makes them work well, some common pitfalls, and how to avoid them.


Session 2, 7:00 – 9:00pm

$20 advance/$25 walk-in (Both Sessions $30 advance)

Strategies for Managing Jealousy

Drawing on years of interviews and participant observation, Eli identifies common triggers for jealousy in monogamish and open relationships, some reasons polyamorous people seem to welcome them, and what happens when jealousy becomes difficult to manage. Sheff closes with strategies that have worked to manage jealousy, as well as some that fail.

There will be time for questions and discussion after each talk.        


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Follow Dr. Sheff on her West Coast tour!!!

11/9    Santa Cruz, CA            Gender & Polyamory

Academy of Arcana

428 Front St.

5:30 to 7:30 pm

Brought to you by Santa Cruz Poly & Academy of Arcana


11/12 San Francisco, CA       Pleasures & Dangers of Unicorn Hunting

Surrender , San Francisco CA

Saturday 4:30 – 6pm

Brought to you by Dark Odyssey


11/17 Thousand Oaks, CA     Families of Sex & Gender Minorities: An Evening with Dr. Elisabeth Sheff

California Lutheran University

7 8:30pm        Ullman Commons 100

Brought to you by California Lutheran University Pearson Library; the Center for Equality and Justice; Sociology and Criminal Justice departments


12/3    Santa Cruz, CA            Naughty & Nice Polyamory: Two Sessions with Dr.Eli

Pure Pleasure

Which Version of Consensual Non-Monogamy is Right For You? 3:00 – 5:00pm

Strategies for Managing Jealousy, 7:00 – 9:00pm

Get tickets early for discount here. Both Sessions $30 advance Attend the first session for $15 advance/$20 walk-in, and the second $20 advance/$25 walk-in


12/9    Missoula, MT              When Someone You Love is Polyamorous

Shakespeare & CO , Missoula MT

7 – 8pm

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See Dr. Sheff Next at the Academy of Arcana in Santa Cruz, Ca!


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November 4, 2016 · 11:42 pm11